• A Wild Lass

Things to Know by the time You're 30

There’s a reason people make memes about turning 30. It’s no joke to reach a milestone, especially when it feels like you should be so much older and so much younger, all at the same time. I don’t feel like a different person than I was, but I look different in the mirror and I have soaked up a little wisdom from my experiences. So I do feel older, but I don’t. What a weird thing to wrap your mind around.


Photo by Vincent Delegge on Unsplash

Originally I was going to start this post with a list of things I really think would come in handy for anyone to know by the time they turn 30, especially moms. It started with a list like this:

  • How to change a tire

  • How to change your oil

  • How to drive a manual transmission

  • How to make a budget

  • How to stick to that budget

But the more I listed out important life skills, the more I realized that those can be learned out of necessity. When life hands you difficulties, you learn how to adapt or handle whatever it throws you. The more important things to know are more philosophical. So instead, here is a list of what you ought to know by the time you’re 30, and some of these are doozies. I certainly don’t have them down yet.


How to be Kind


Even when someone isn’t kind to you. Even when you’re the only one being kind. Even when you don’t like the person who needs your kindness.


How to Stand Up for Yourself


Even when no one else does. Even when you’re tired. Even when someone tells you you’re not worth it. Even when your negative self-talk makes you doubt that you should.


How to Take a Break


Even when you have a pile of things to do. Even when you don’t feel tired. Even when other people aren’t taking a break. Even when it takes more mental effort to breathe and stop than to keep going.


How to Quiet Your Mind


Even when the chatter is loud. Even when adrenaline has your heart racing. Even when you’re embarrassed. Even when you can’t sleep. Even when panic threatens.


How to Put Others First


Even when they don’t notice or care that you did. Even when you really want to do something else. Even when you think you’ve learned enough lessons about selfishness.


How to Make Friends


Even when you have to initiate. Even when you have to pursue the other person. Even when the other person isn’t a popular or well-liked person.


How to De-Escalate Conflict


Even when you’re angry. Even when you don’t want to. Even when you’re right and they’re wrong. Even when the compromise seems impossible.


I could go on and on. How to soothe, how to comfort, how to cherish, how to take care of someone, how to have patience, how to give generously, how to apologize, how to forgive. These are the skills that truly matter, and the ones that we should practice until we get it perfectly.


For more on turning 30, check out this other post from A Wild Lass.